you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
