HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
