During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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