Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
