from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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