I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
