seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
