just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
