o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
