Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
