she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry about my life...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
