In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
