my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
