please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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