we're blogging at a bar
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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