Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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