And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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