well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
