hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
