worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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