alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
