xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
