That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
