Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
