community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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