Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
