dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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