Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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