dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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