He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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