You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
