it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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