Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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