Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
