so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
