If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
