Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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