Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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