ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
