Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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