just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How naked do you want me to be?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
