I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
