Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
