why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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