THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
