Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
