what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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