i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
