at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
