You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
