D3 body, D1 cock
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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