the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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